Q: My teenage daughter has been home schooled for the past eight years and has done very well. However, now that she has completed eighth grade, she will be going to a traditional high school. I do not regret the decision to send her to formal school, but want her to have a great high school experience. What challenges can she expect and how can we overcome them?
A: As a licensed professional counselor, I have helped many teenagers transition from home school to formal education. Generally, the transition is smooth and most of the teenagers fare very well. However, you are correct in that there will be some challenges.
First, the length of time in school will be longer. This can be an adjustment for some students as they are used to a less structured day, especially the demand of sticking to a timed schedule. Help your daughter get in the habit of going to bed so that she can awake early enough to get ready for school. Begin this habit about a week before school starts.
Second, there may be some difficulty adjusting to being in a classroom full of other students. Even if your daughter has attended a home school cooperative with other students a few days per week, it may take an adjustment to be with other students every day. Some teenagers find this exhilarating, while others find it nerve wracking. If your daughter is in the latter, help her learn some relaxation skills to help ease into the classroom.
Third, she can expect less independent study. While formal education does encourage independent study, your daughter will be attending classes that contain an established syllabus and curricula that will need to be adhered to for education standards to be met. This course requirement can be aggravating to home school students that did not follow traditional course curricula. Remind your daughter to perceive this as a positive aspect of preparing for college courses.
Fourth, your daughter will have to adjust to many new teachers, instead of just one. She may experience different personalities with each teacher. If your daughter does not enjoy a few of her teachers, use this as a teachable tool of how to interact with people that have a more challenging personality than she has.
Throughout the year, your teenager may become frustrated, or even discouraged to attend formal education. Here are some things you can do to help the transition go smoother:
1. Help her be prepared.
If there is some anxiety about attending a school, then consider walking the halls and finding her classes. Make sure she also the necessary supplies, and feels confident in her appearance and abilities.
2. Get there on time
Arrive at school on time, if not a bit early. Tardiness for a big event can possibly cause more anxiety while being on time sends a message of being in control. If she will be driving herself, make sure she knows all the routes to her school. You never know when an accident or other uncontrollable incidents will occur.
3. Create morning routines
I am a firm believer that every one of all ages performs better when there is a routine. Knowing what will happen next relieves any tension, and affirms a sense of order. Routines can be as simple as getting up and showering first thing in the morning. Some also find great comfort in having their bed made every day. Will you eat together as a family or catch something running out the door? The morning routines can create a calm mindset for the remainder of the day.
4. Have a dialogue
Talk to her about what is most important to them regarding their new school. Is she nervous about meeting new friends? What is she most excited about? Most parents prefer to do this in the morning commute. However, I strongly encourage you not to lecture her about anything. Do you like starting your day with conflict? If there are issues that need to be addressed then find another time to discuss it with her.
5. Pray with her and for her
Some teenagers find it very comforting to have their parents pray with them. Other would rather their parents just pray for them. Whichever the choice, be consistent in prayer for them. While you cannot be there to help her face her day, God will always be with her.
Author Resource:-
Are you looking for more common sense back to school advice, practical solutions and even humor for parenting your teen? I invite you to check out http://www.parentingyourteenager.com/ where you will find tips for parenting teens, school, curfew, and more!
Terre Grable is a Christian licensed professional counselor. She enjoys helping parents and teens become better friends when they feel like enemies.
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