5 Principles that Really Work for Staying Married Forever
There are actually a lot more than five principles for staying married forever but these are on the top of our list. If you put these principles to work and write them in your heart and remember them daily, you’ll stay married forever to your first love.
Committed to being married
1. Don’t get married unless you are committed – means to stay married through the good times as well as the bad. Saying you will be committed when you get married is not the same thing as practicing commitment once you are married.
God does not want us to marry the one we love. Yes, that’s right, why marry the one you love? Isn’t that “love feeling” just a fleeting moment of time, maybe it’s two years maybe its three years where we have that feeling called “love”. But what happens when the feelings go away? What are you going to do then?
This is where commitment comes in. “Do not marry the one you love but LOVE the one you marry”. Do you see the difference? We are to love the one we marry. Of course, in all seriousness you do marry the one you love and you keep loving them until death do you part.
Love is a verb
Love is a verb, an action, something we must do when we get married. What is love? In one sentence: Love is respecting the person you are married to and forgiving them on a daily basis. In another sentence I would say that love is to sacrifice oneself for the sake of another. Isn’t Jesus Christ our perfect example of what real love is?
Ephesians 5:25 King James Version (KJV) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it. So you see, all of this “I’m not “in love” with my spouse anymore is an uncommitted person needing a way out of marriage. Uncommitted folks should never get married; essentially they are cowards for their feelings.
Cowards always need to “feel good” and think marriage is a “feel good” thing. But marriage has lots of ups and downs, let’s be real here. You’re not dating anymore, yet many folks treat marriage like a date. People, who actually want to take responsibility for their marriage and do what’s right, foregoing the need to always feel good, should get married because they make the best marriage partners because they are committed.
2. Love God. Wow, what a revelation, uh? Or should I say, “no brainer”. Love God. But don’t Christians already love Jesus Christ/God?
What is love again? Love is a verb, an action; it is something we must do to show someone we love them. How do we show God that we love Him? We do it through our marriage by following His principles that He specifically designed for husbands and wives. Remember, marriage belongs to God not any state; in fact, they have no authority over your marriage, unless you give it to them.
This means we need to learn to put God first in everything we do and then make it a habit. Once you recognize these first two ways to stay married forever, you’ve got your marriage made in the shade.
The first two principles, if followed are essentially saying, “No matter what happens in our marriage, we’re married for life”. Which means the silly feelings couples have throughout their marriage such as “not in love anymore”, “she’s changed or he’s changed”, “”I don’t find her/him attractive anymore”…etc…etc. All these feelings will not matter one iota because you are committed for life! Remember, the “not in love anymore” feeling is a passing phase and you change that by continuing to “love the one you married”. Take responsibility for your marriage; don’t be a coward.
So the last 3 principles for staying married forever are going to be more about how we should behave and react with our spouse in marriage.
No room for selfishness
3. Understand marriage is not just about YOU. We sometimes forget that getting married involves another person; there is no room for selfishness in marriage. When we are married and we seek out life as an individual rather than a couple, it will slowly disintegrate the bond between couples and usually the uncommitted person will start going by their feelings…” Oh, I don’t love my spouse anymore, blah, blah, blah”. “I have to find someone else to love”….
This is why commitment is so important when it comes to marriage.
Unfortunately, the world teaches independence with the wife doing her thing, the husband doing his thing, the children doing their thing, not to mention wives with feminist values. Oh, don’t get me started, lol. But again, going into marriage with commitment in your heart, you’ll be able to tackle this issue with ease. Those who happen to think marriage is made just for them (selfish people) and are not committed will end up divorcing their spouse!
Sacrifice for your spouse
4. Sacrifice things for your spouse – This works both ways. The husband should not be the only one making sacrifices for his wife; the wife too must make sacrifices for her husband. Balance and compromise go a long way in marriage!
Each marriage is different so all situations will be different but some sacrifices are big things like beliefs, values, and mores…and is why scriptures says to not marry unbelievers but if you did marry an unbeliever because you loved the one you married; it is now time to “love the one you married”. Get it!
Many sacrifices will need to be made for this type of marriage to make it through the hard times. Go read principle number one again.
Then there are the small sacrifices like cooking certain foods your husband likes, even if you hate them or getting up in the middle of the night with the baby and giving your wife a break…marriage takes many little sacrifices but even if small, they can mean big things in marriage and actually keep couples in love. That’s because showing love (love is a verb) makes us feel good about ourselves and marriage.
5. Be happy with each other and know you are blessed! The reality of living the Christ centered life is when we live the principles that God asks us to for our marriage; He will send blessings our way. I know because my marriage has had many blessings come our way.
You may not realize it when it happens because we look for “the moment” feeling of being blessed right after we do something good for our spouse but God doesn’t work like that. He blesses your marriage on His time and so when something great is happening with you and your marriage, it’s because you’re working the principles He designed for marriage. It means you let God go to work in your life and that’s a good thing!
People tend to think that outside circumstances had something to do with being blessed or happy but it is actually God working in your life, providing you with Godly living tools…so be thankful everyday that you are one of the wise ones who allowed their marriage to be on the foundation and principles of Jesus Christ! If every marriage were so blessed, right?
Remember, we need to show love and that giving of ourselves is the love your spouse actually needs and wants from you and when both couples understand this principle of giving and forgiving twenty times a day, the marriage will be on top of the world! Yes, marriage takes giving and forgiving all day long, not just once a month.
Just a final thought. I don’t think marriage is that difficult to maintain when couples follow these 5 principles, but when there is commitment, feminism, selflessness, etc… from one or both persons in the marriage, of course there’s going to be trouble.
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Blessings Angie Heaven Ministries – Marriage Healing Ministry
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