The Mercury Puzzle
Did'ja ever get the feeling you're in Wonderland looking for Alice?
For instance, our powers that be outlawed mercury thermometers. Better you shouldn't know your temperature than risk a broken thermometer that could leak, maybe, a half dram of mercury. The substitute thermometers, while not accurate, offer a general idea of your temp. Close enough, as they say, for government work.
On the other hand, our fearless leaders shill for the fluorescent light bulb, the so-called CFL. Now, as it happens, these don't-fit-half-the-fixtures-in-the-house bulbs contain approximately the same amount of mercury as a mercury thermometer.
The Mercury Puzzle
If a CFL breaks, well, that just about does it. You have to call the HazMat crew for clean-up. (And try not to feel stupid when you tell them why you called.) And if it breaks in carpeting, where total removal turns out to be iffy, you're advised to leave your humble abode for a few days.
Also don't even think of tossing one of those babies in the trash! Nosirreebob! Take it your local hazardous waste site and dispose of it properly.
And the part about filling the air with CO2 by driving halfway to Canada and back to deliver a light bulb? Don't you get smart with me, young man; we're saving energy here. And, no, you can't write off the mileage on your taxes.
But there's good news, too. According to a study I read, in the absence of glutamate, mercury poses no threat. So all we have to do is ban MSG and soy, and we're home free! How cool is that! Not only could we get our mercury thermometers back, but our endocrine systems would rise up and call us bless-ed. Good health would blossom and bloom. We might even break out in world peace, for crying out loud.
Yeah, I'm not going to hold my breath, either.
Ah, well. They'd still be pushing CFLs.
God is good,
Copyright by Bette Dowdell. All rights reserved
P.S. I'm not a doctor or other medical poobah. Luckily for both you and me, I've been studying this stuff for many years. Knowledge is power